Tuesday, July 30, 2002

Herb has let the creative juices flow and has come up with a wonderful idea for a movie. It would seem that popular culture has taken a liking to the spy movie, what with all of the spy trash that has come out of Hollywood recently (Goldmember, The Sum of All Fears, The Bourne Identity, Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood). And so, without further ado (fade to black….)

A Herb Romaine Production

Of

A Herb Romaine Film

Lanolin Is Forever

starring Herb Romaine


Scene 1 – Our hero enters a roadside grill somewhere in Midwest America. He walks up to the counter and talks to the barmaid.

Herb: Where is the one they call Tortura Delle Pecore?

Barmaid: It sure is hot in here, handsome. How does a woodchuck chuck wood?

Herb: It is a long, lonely stretch of highway out there. Roosters appear in my field of view and I forgot my sunglasses.

Barmaid: EARL!! Two dogs, hold the chili!!

That’s about as far as I have gotten to date. Stay tuned for more, including the exciting sequel, A View To A Sheer.

Friday, July 26, 2002

I just don’t know what to make of this story. I think I am going to be sick.

How could anyone allow the finest of God’s creatures to plummet to their deaths? Just give Herb 2 minutes with the cretin who allowed this to happen and…

This hurts too much. I must stop here.